Old Dogs

MINDSET


what
do I miss
from all those days
of drunken delusion
staggered perambulation
severely slurred speech
and hopeless abandonment
to the inescapable onslaught
of sensory bombardment
by Hell-wrought
hangovers?

I miss
the singular ability
to absolutely
without compromise
make an undiluted
in your face
decision

oh
I admit
that the majority
were quite laughable
sometimes criminal
and always ill-conceived
but they were made quickly
and certainly
no delaying
no hedging
just an immediate response
to the myriad
of choices offered
by the prevailing
situation

later
I would be left alone
to regret my decisions
but whether good
or most usually bad
I always experienced
a slight satisfaction
at their swift arrival
and purposeful implementation
even though while drunk
I never considered
any severe consequences
and when hungover
all I could do
was fear them
and everything
else

now
though sober
I don't understand
the hesitation
sidestepping
and self doubt
practiced and accepted
by the majority
of society

their decisions
never unconditional
changing almost continually
according to the opinions
shifting and shading
about tem

these days
when confronted
with varying alternatives
I find it
more palatable
to sit calmly back
in silence
let the moment pass
and then accept
whatever
the result

life
can only
be simple
if we let it
be
that way