Old Dogs

LADIES' APPAREL


yesterday
flipping around
with the TV remote
I came upon a talk show
paneled by several women
all quite garishly dressed
but having some blatant
sleazy sexuality
that appealed
to my baser
instincts

I put on my glasses
and turned up the volume
to better assess
the program

I quickly realized
the group consisted
of men in drag

apparently
we had reached
the point in television
where crossdressers
were an attraction
and today
they were the kings
or possibly queens
of the small
screen

normally
I would have switched
hastily
back to C-Span
to catch
that circus sideshow
but something
held me there
listening to the tribulations
of these men who spent hours
of their daily lives putting
on makeup and clothing
(with intense bouts
of shaving, no doubt)
to attain that feminine
and "delicate"
demeanor

I was amazed
at the effort involved
all free time consumed
by the transgendering
process

taking off
all that body hair
putting on the paints
the hose
the dress
the shoes
the accessories
getting the hair
just right
only to spend
a few hours out
trying to fool
a desensitized public

maybe just
a few hours
at home
trying simply
to fool
themselves

the segment ended
and I switched to C-Span
where some House committee
was meeting to decide the location
of their next hearing
on their designated topic
which for some reason
was never made clear
and probably by the time
that they had argued
themselves blue
about the proper venue
the committee members
will have forgotten
their own purpose
but will have found
one damn fine place
in which to try
to remember

these were people
with way too much time
and taxpayer's money
on their hands

maybe
mandatory crossdressing
would be of some advantage
in the legislative process
giving all of Congress
less time to tamper
with the workings
of the nation
causing them instead
to worry more about
hiding five o'clock shadows
or for the female members
the sagging breasts
from public scrutiny

for that matter
why exclude
the other branches
of our government
force them all
to don the attire
of the opposite sex
and keep them all
so damn busy
choosing the right eyeliner
or non-feminine
business tie
that they will not
have time
to further complicate
our rapidly diminishing
lives in
or out
of clothing

by the look
of this committee
they would probably
quickly adapt
to new dress
to the point
of enjoyment
making their gibberish
just that
much
tougher
to take

oh well...

I turned off
the TV
went to the
bedroom closest
and began to assess
my girlfriends'
high heels