Old Dogs

AMBITION


in my youth
I am sure
that I had goals
like anyone else
career
family
wealth
and recognition
although
I can't remember
exactly
what they might
have been

these days
I don't honestly
see anything worth
a lifelong sacrifice
the fickle human race
can turn even the most
noble of undertakings
into a steaming piles
of well deserved shit
in the time
that it takes
to pull a trigger
leaving me
with nothing
which to look forward
other than living life
for its own
sake

now
I only hope
to make it through
my limited time here
without killing anyone
not because I value life
but to avoid the realization
that instead of remorse
or a sense of regret
for causing death
that I might
not feel
anything
at all

luckily
since I possess
a natural aversion
to weapons of any kind
any mischances of murder
are thankfully curtailed
leaving me with only
more mundane means
of committing
a fatal act

my most obvious
vehicle of death
would be drunk driving
which I have to admit
I have practiced
to an ignoble art
although my inattentiveness
and general lack of care
make even a sober drive
a dangerous assault
on an unsuspecting
and unwary
public

toward this fear
and with the assistance
of the Oklahoma judicial system
I've relinquished my privilege
to drive in this state
and have sold
the last car
that I shall ever own
relegating myself
to a life in the shadows
of this mobile world
of responsible
drivers

yesterday
walking down
a narrow sidewalk
a cyclist approached me
at a rapid rate of speed
and I edged to the curb
to allow him to pass
but hedged away
from the heavy traffic
in the rush hour street
forcing him to squeeze
between me and a fence
apparently leaving him
not enough room
since a hand grip
clipped the chain link
causing him
to lose control
and tumble onto
the concrete
walkway

I looked back
to see him assessing
various cuts and bruises
as he glared up at me
referring unkindly
to my physical presence
and adamantly suggesting
that I should stay off
the public sidewalks
if I could not exhibit
the least amount
of common
courtesy

I smiled
during the harangue
waiting for the finish
before giving him the finger
and silently turning
to walk slowly
away

I may need
just one more car
before it was
all over