Mom's Story

SEPTEMBER 19TH
(9/19/07)


I'm not sure
exactly
what I expect
to happen
each year
on this date

I do remember
exactly
what happened
at 7:10am
on 9/19/2000

you died

and all
that I could do
was hold you
and let it
happen

I know
that dramatic
visitations
apparitions
and glowing
angelic projections
are not your
style

so I look
for anything
just a little
out of the ordinary
that might show me
you are still there

somewhere

a strange ring
of the phone

unknown noises
in the attic

your living room clock
(now on my wall)
stopping at ten
after seven

your reading glasses
suddenly appearing
on the kitchen table

your picture
on the nightstand
falling over
apparently
of its own
accord

face up
of course

however
midnight approaches
and still nothing

as I turn
off the lights
I look out the window
into the backyard garden
where your ashes
are buried

no movement
or trick of the light
to tell me
anything
of a lingering
presence

I go to bed
and thank you
as I do every night
for all that was given
that allows me
to be a better
person today

a whispered
"you're welcome"
in the darkness
would not startle me
in the least

haunt me

I miss you