Poemdog

Dogs 2017

RELUCTANT ROLE
(3/18/17)

I nod

I smile

I laugh
in all
the appropriate
places
of the conversation

but I
do not wish
to be a part
of such
discourse

I would
rather
be alone
in my room

on a
walk

still
I respond
in kind

not believing
my own
words

I've read
books

watched movies

I know
the proper
responses

what is
expected
of me

but I really
don't want
to play

I don't
pay attention
to what
I say

become
careless

see
their questioning
looks

then have
to explain
my comments
that I
hardly heard
myself

hoping to put
a socially acceptable
spin
upon that
which made
the others
uncomfortable

I see
their faces
light

I have
succeeded

succeeded
in fooling them
for one
more
day

when I'd
much rather
tell them
to fuck
off

to get
out
of my
face

this duplicity
is always
eventually
exposed

I do not
have the energy
to maintain
such pretense
for long

then
I get
what I want

what
I need

solitary
refinement

until
someone new
asks
my name