Dogs 2015

15 YEARS AFTER
(8/15/15)


fifteen
years
to the day

almost
to the hour
as I type
this

the emotions
involved
certainly
do not seem
that old

the
still tender
psyche
says perhaps
just last year

strange

I can
certainly see
that time
has indeed passed
in the mirror

but
the residual feeling
of standing there
in front
of the judge
trying to judge
if the two year
recommended
prison sentence
would be
the result
of his banging
gavel

still makes
my stomach
turn

prison
would've just
been another
experience
to mark
on my twisted
to do list
of life

but leaving
my mother
alone
in her final
dying days
would've been
too much
to bear

instead
I miraculously
walked
from the
courtroom

two years
probation
for my fifth
DUI

a blowstart
for my truck

still able
to do
what was needed
to be done
for Mom

I felt
extremely
grateful

acquiring
an almost
born again
nature

I'm glad
that her last
living experiences
of me
were of
that glow

she passed
only five weeks
later

before
my glow
would fade

a now
distant glimmer
as I walk past
her final resting
place
each day

over 15
years
since my last
drink

since my
last
arrest

almost 15
since her
death

she received
a 14 month
probation
for her brain
tumor sentence

never
to be
released