Dogs 2014

NOT ENOUGH
(12/23/14)


some days
the simple joys
of a deep
breath

the smell
of earth
between
the fingers

sun
and wind
on the face

are lost
on me

I pray
my gratitude
in order to instill
these blessings
in my vagrant
soul

but still
I sink

I crave
the oblivion
of a handful
of painkillers

a case
of beer

a darkened
room
filled with
the negativity
of Slayer

Type O Negative

Ministry

I need
the lower
worldly escapes
when the spiritual
skies
seem overcast

I leave
my self made
penitentiary
to search
for a cup
of coffee
in a cheap
diner

an indifferent
waitress
still possessing
the possibility
of sex

no smoking
but the hint
of cigarettes
in the air

the hard
edge
of hopelessness
cutting
through it all

providing
much needed
surgery
to trim away
the cancerous
growths
of routine

exposing
raw tissue
that will again welcome
the protective
scab
of the everyday

the comforting
protection
of home

I pull up
into the driveway
startling a squirrel
unsure whether
to keep digging
in the yard
or to make
a mad dash
for the trees

I know
how it
feels