Dogs 2014

DRUG OF CHOICE
(2/16/14)


sitting
across
another table

drinking
more coffee

listening
to the rationalizations

the fear

the anger

the hopelessness

I hear
the story
unwinding

I wait
for the monologue
to end

"I just
need
to stop drinking
so that I
can get
my life back"

the eyes
look
into mine
expectantly

they are sure
to be
disappointed

I have
no magic
cure

I say
that it was
years
into my supposed
recovery

two times
through the steps

pathetically
trying to help

trying to serve
others

before
I understood
the true nature
of my malady

it was
not
alcohol

it was
me

I was
damaged

I was
bad

sobriety
just left me
alone
with my shortcomings

with my sins

I see
their head

their shoulders
slump noticeably

this is not
what they
want to hear

they want
a solution
for the drinking

not
for themselves

they want
a life back
that they never
truly had

I've seen
it

I've heard
it

I've thought
it

I've said
it

too many
times
before

they'll be
back out
there

all too
soon

driven
by a denial
they may
never
meet