Dogs 2014

CHILD MIND
(12/2/14)


leave me
alone

provide
me
the basics
then go
away

I need
you
but I don't
want you

I resent
this predicament

you send
me to school
to learn
of my inferiority
as a human

most everyone
is better
than me
in some way

I would
much rather
stay home
with you

but in another
room
from you

my reward
for surviving
over a decade
of petty lessons
and comparisons
will be a job
to take me
away
from whatever
home and family
that I may have
then

my reward
for a day
of work
will be bars
and booze
drunken friends
and coworkers

women
will be stripped
bound
poked
and prodded
at will

I really
don't know
what else
to do
with them

on weekends
I will drive
aimlessly about
the countryside

subsist
on fast food
and sunshine

maybe
take in
a drive-in movie
occasionally
at night

the only
breaks
from the routine
will be holidays
when I can
get drunk
in public
and at home

once
a year
there will be
an extended
vacation

long stretches
of highway

motels

different
fast food
in different
slants
of sunshine

after many
years
of this existence
I will end up
in the old
folks home

I will smell
of unclean teeth
and piss

then
I will
die

oh well

what
do I know

I am only
six years
old

and retrospectively
a sick
little shit
before I ever
took
my first
drink

thank you
4th Step

I now know
that I never
really
had a chance