Dogs 2013

LIFEFAKER
(3/27/13)


I wasn't
born
a genius
a doctor
an athlete
a musician
an entertainer
an entrepreneur
or
a mass murderer

those things
that I tried
I had
to work at

very hard

just to be
mediocre

I wasn't
sent
to Vietnam
Kuwait
Iraq
Afghanistan

too young
for one

enlisted
stateside
for another

too old
for the next
two

my wars
were self made
but some scars
never healed

I wasn't
a saint
a healer
a good lover
neighbor
or family member

not antisocial
for selfish reasons
I remain nonsocial
to the point
of being perceived
as an isolationist
asshole

I'm not sure
what to do

I make
conscious efforts
to improve
my shortcomings
buy my actions
feel insincere

I would
rather
walk away
from them all
and move on
alone

I don't know
if there's anything
more to life
than eating
sleeping
urinating
defecating
and attempting
to keep warm
or cool
as the seasons
demand

no one
has ever convinced
me
otherwise

I am
spiritual enough
to accept
my death
willingly

but not
spiritual enough
to help others
with living

after
five decades
of this existence
the chances
of change
seem slim

I work
to earn
a living

I amuse
myself
with books
music
and movies

I watch
the sunsets
go by
without worry

I no longer
care
if anyone
thinks
I've failed

because
finally
I know
the difference
between success
and failure

none