Dogs 2013

IT'S ALWAYS THE MONEY
(11/12/13)


we're spending
more
than we make

again…

still

when I suggest
that we begin
to live within
our budget
I am bludgeoned
with a billion
"let's live
for today"
aphorisms
to justify
our dwindling
financial state

she notes
instances
of deaths
before vacations
could be taken

before new vehicles
could be purchased

before visits
to loved ones
could be made

they seem
to have been
people who believed
every billboard
advertisement
or commercial
that they ever
saw
or heard

these observations
weary me
to the point
of collapse

she eyes
the IRAs
and mutual funds
that were there
before she
and wonders
why we have
to "suffer"

those accounts
are basically
the inheritance
from my mother
who died
at 65

long before
she could enoy
her retirement

we will always
have these basic
fiscal philosophical
differences

my grandmother
recently died
at age 99

she had
nothing
left to do

nowhere
left to go

nothing
left to buy

no one
left to see

she was ready
to go

the rest
of us
will always
have people
places
and things
still planned

events
to be forever
unlived
if death
overtakes
us

we have
this discussion
in the kitchen
of a house
already
second mortgaged
to allow for her
cavalier attitudes
concerning expenditures

if she were
forced
to live
on her salary
alone
she would learn
how to live
for today

that would be
all
that she could
afford

I opt
not to mention
lessons learned
during my past life
of dish washing
and blood selling

life
is what
you have
in front
of you

life
is nothing
missed

nothing
gained

I
can live
on nothing
again

she would
simply
move on
to the next
provider
of something

I would be
considered
the one
damaged

the one
deranged

but
as long
as I can keep
my weight above
150
I can still nail
down
that sweet
premium rate
at the blood bank

and I know

without
a doubt

that the sun
will still feel
much
the same