Dogs 2013

IMPASSE
(9/10/13)


"you just
sit there!

you never
want to do
anything!"

it is difficult
to explain

when the options
that society offers
seem ridiculous

absurd

I would rather
just stay still
and try to
think myself
into a better
reality

"oh
you say
that you're trying
to figure out
your existence
but your existence
is passing
you by
while you
read your
fucked up books
and watch your
fucked up
movies

it's just
an excuse
to sit
and do nothing

I want
to go OUT!

I want
to DO things!"

I tell her that
she is certainly free
to do whatever
she pleases
without me
but the arcane
contrivances
of civilization
have exhausted me
to the point
of death

"FINE!

spend
your night
in a dark
room
then

have a
great time!"

my wife
leaves
for now

my marriage
will soon
follow

for good

I am somewhat
relieved
but I fear
that there may
come a time
when I shall realize
that all of this
philosophical meandering
was a mistake

I should have
simply done
what was expected
of a husband
a lover
a friend

still
all of those
standard solutions
seem so
fucking stupid

and here

all alone

lights off

in the silence

I can
breathe
for the first
time
today