Dogs 2012

STANDING ON LOWER GROUND
(5/1/12)


in
the exuberance
of youth
hubris
alcohol
and drugs
the true nature
of the cosmos
became clear
to me

the infinite
opened
its door
and I perceived
the weave
of celestial fabric
above
around
and below
the ground
transparent

the efforts
of humanity
and this human
in particular
seemed
ludicrous
in the extreme
and I realized
that society's
measuring sticks
were too minute

too contrived

to rate
any life
in truly
relative
universal
terms

people
responded
that my philosophy
was merely a rationalization
for an underachieving
nature
and that
I was wasting time
as my peers
passed
me by

I found
them
delusional

to live
simply
in harmony
seemed the only
sane goal

~

as age
and pain
have reined in
my passions
the Earth
has once again
becone opaque

spiritual visions
no longer
transport me
beyond
this land
of physical
and financial
attrition

doubts
creep within
the crevices
of reality
that fissure
my faith

concrete
misgivings
that no ego
drink
or chemical
can assuage

lacquered
within
this layered
middle class
I struggle
through
the days
knowing that
my abilities
are dwindling
with my
spirit

I find
my soul
worrying
with payments
savings
registrations
retirement
no longer freed
by metaphysical
musings

oh
every once
in awhile
a shaft
of sunlight
will penetrate
this oppressive overcast
of perceived
responsibility
to illuminate
a fleeting smile
of understanding
at the ridiculousness
of this
existence
and I am
in that instant
floating again
in the carefree
ether
of detachment

soon
however
the next
cloud comes

a phone tones

an email lands

a voice demands

and I'm back
in the shadows
of substance
and social requirements
forgetting
so quickly
the glow
of letting
go

I pray
in my way
for release
via insanity

senility

disability

death

or perhaps
simply
for a more
resolute
commitment
to now

~

Earth
slightly
wavers

hope
faintly
flickers

the darkness
held
in abeyance
one
more
day