Dogs 2012

OPEN PIT
(12/5/12)


what
should I
have done
differently?

should I have
resisted
at my doorstep?

I surely
would have been
shot
on the spot

as well as
my wife
and children
before
or after me

should I have
taken up arms
when we
were occupied?

there have been
regime changes
in the past
and everything
on the local
level
continued
as usual

should I have
cast my ballot
for the other
party?

I landed
on the losing
side
of the election
and neither party
would have been
favored
in the impending
military coup

should I have
immigrated
while I had
the opportunity?

uprooting
the family
with children
in school
seemed drastic
but in hindsight
the scale
of discomfort
was much
more human

should I have
foregone
a career
and a wife
to join
the army
with my
friends

most
are dead
now

this
is all
so damned
stupid

here
we are
in this early
morning field
very much alive
and wanting
fairly much
the same
things

why
must this
happen?

it makes
so little
sense

I should
be
at the breakfast
table
right now
with my family

why is that
such an imposition
to the prevailing
potentates?

maybe
I should turn
and explain
this revelation
to my oppressors

maybe
I should
walk
away

I should
have been
stronger
when it was
easier
to do so

I should
have been
more morally
resolute

instead
I have
the rising sun
and soldiers
at my back

fellow
townsmen
to my right
and left

freshly
dug earth
just beyond
my shoeless
feet

my shadow
stretches steadily
to the horizon
mocking my
trembling
physical being

I am
worthless
and weak

I only
hope
that my family
will live
to forgive
me