Dogs 2012

LOCKED MIRROR
(7/6/12)


there
I am

the same
madman
who has always
stared back
at me

others
see
an aging
minor executive
at a minor
company

they
see
a smile
and a fairly
relaxed
manner

they
see
a neighbor
a taxpayer
a recovered
alcoholic
a family
member

somehow
they miss
the intensity

the insanity

the qualities
that seem
so obvious
in my self
observations

there
is something
wrong
with me
but those
aberrations
seem invisible
to others

I hope
that they
remain
so

I would
rather
die a compromise
than kill
the image
that keeps
me socially
acceptable

socially
predictable

every
once
in awhile
I'll slip

I will
see
a bit
of hurt

a bit
of fear
in their
eyes

I'll
quickly
grow calm

composed

quiet

I'll
allow them
to berate
me
for my
transgression

to punish
me with
words
which mean
nothing
to me

they
will never
know
how lucky
they are
that I let
them
live

they
will never
know
how fortunate
they are
that I had
a loving
mother

they are
all
a memory
of her
away
from death