Dogs 2012

FLAT SPIN
(9/13/12)


a swiftly
attacking hand
wearing the glove
of my daily
reality
rushes
toward me
to grab
my face
compressing
my vision
twisting
my senses
first one way
then another
before releasing
its grip
approximately
10 seconds
later

I am
left
dizzy
and disoriented
for another 30 minutes
or so
but still
moderately
functional

then
I am back
to my usual
diminished version
of normal

the first
time
that this happened
I screamed
an obscenity
jerked violently
and startled
my wife

of course
the first time
was in the car
with me
at the wheel
making it more
than a little
disconcerting

the second
time
was in our den
while watching
TV

I realized
what was happening
so knew
that I just
needed
to ride it
out

the last time
was today
in front
of the computer

I braced
my arms
on the desk
now very familiar
with that funky
feeling
but still
not very pleased
with it all

the sensation
is so severe
that I often wonder
if it approximates
the same sickness
and vertigo
that victims
of a plane crash
feel
in those last
few
terrifying
seconds

my own
aircraft
has up to now
always pulled out
of its dive
so I guess
that I can't
be sure

one day
(maybe soon)
my loss
of control
will send me
plummeting
straight into
the ground
as well

maybe then
someone
will finally
know
the cause

in my
case
probably not
the NTSB