Dogs 2010

LOST SOUL
(4/19/10)


I think
of him
at night
sometimes
after kissing
my wife
good dreams

I first
saw him
lost and alone
in an AA meeting
and ended up
giving him a ride
back to the mission
where he
stayed

he became
a Saturday routine
picking him up
for meetings
and an occasional
meal

I helped
him
the only way
that I knew
by telling him
how I was able
to get
to the other side
of that alcoholic
chasm
and by showing him
in the literature
where he
could do
the same

he was
10 months sober
when I moved him
out
of the religious
environs
and into
my spare
bedroom

I told him
no drugs
no drinking
and gave him
a month
rent free
into which
to find
his footing

a week later
I came home
from work
to find him
barely standing
in my kitchen
eyes glassy
and speech
incoherent

I told him
that he would have
to go

the next
that I heard
he was in jail
then moved in
with an enabling woman
to continue
his search
for a bottom

all through
this time
I was in contact
with his ex-girlfriend

she
keeping tabs
on him
and me
asking for
some direction
in pointing him
toward
a future
course

with him
back out
I heard from her
less often

just an
email
now
and again

at times
she would forward
my emails
(which she thought
quite insane)
onto her
other friends

one
of those friends
would later
become my
wife

I think
of him
at night
and how much better
my life
is today
because
of my inability
help him
find a way
clean

I only hope
that my misguided
attempt
has benefitted
him
as much