Dogs 2010

CONNECTIVITY
(5/18/10)


it started
simply enough
four days earlier
with a call
to the phone
company

I know

there is never
anything simple
about that

I asked
a routine question
and the lady in billing
answered

then she said
that she could save us
$100 a month
by switching us
to another
internet plan

sounded
good
to me
so I said
yes

yesterday
after a noon meeting
we discovered
that neither
our web
nor email
browsers
were working

we have
an electronic
product

the majority
of our orders
come from
a web based
system

while still operable
via phone and fax
we were
severly
crippled
without high speed
internet

after ten
to fifteen minutes
all the typical
equipment checks
showed me
that everything here
was working
fine

that meant
back
to AT&T

12:50pm

I called
tech support
labored through all
of the automated
voice options
and finally reached
a guy
who asked
all the usual questions
did all of the usual tests
and told me
our gear
was at fault

I told him
that he
was wrong

they
had changed
our DSL plan
and now
our internet
was down

he asked
that I bypass
our router
and I reluctantly
put down the phone
cabled around the device
and picked up
he phone again
only to find
silence

he was gone

1:08pm

I called back
got someone different
but a bit
more sympathetic
who had to run
the same checks
and receive
the same
results

when I protested
he admitted
something
could have
gone wrong
when the work order
for the plan switch
had been done
earlier
that day
so he requested
a service call
for us
then forwarded me
to the maintenance
department

1:15pm

that guy
pulled out
all the stops
ran the same tests
then some more
advanced diagnostics
and arrived
at the same
result

our equipment
was malfunctioning

bullshit

he then
said that he
would put me
back in touch
with tech
support

1:43pm

the fourth guy
of the afternoon
said that he was required
to run the standard tests
yet again
then had me check
some of our equipment
settings as well

he decided also
that our problem
was in house
and that
he would
have to forward me
to the department
that handled
equipment issues

I was tired
of disagreeing
so I let him
do his
thing

2:15pm

after waiting
on hold
for five minutes
or so
I was back
to some voice system
being asked for
credit card
information

I zeroed
through the options
and finally
got a breathing voice
who greeted me
by saying that
I had arrived
at a fee based
service

at that moment
the serviceman
walked into
the office
so I happy
hung up

2:20pm

as I explained
our problem
for the fifth time
he nodded
grunted
and groaned
in appreciation
then began checking
all the things
that had been checked
four times already

2:45pm

he cannot
find anything wrong
so now HE
has to call
the phone company

he's on hold
for quite awhile
before he begins
asking questions
about the circuit
configurations

he doesn't
seem pleased
with the answers
at one point asking
if there were two
separate
work orders
for our plan switch
since nothing that
he was being
told
made
any sense

3:20pm

finally
off the phone
he's into the equipment
again
running back
and forth
to his truck
for test devices
and cables

I can see
that he's getting
frustrated

still
nothing

3:45pm

he calls
back
waits on hold
getting more agitated
the more
that he waits

I had
to suppress
a smile

talking again
I hear such
angered questions
as

"where
do you see
THAT?"

"why
didn't the other guy
switch it over?"

"it says that
on the work
order?"

4:20pm

finally off
the phone
he sits in silence
for a few minutes
his face red
his breathing
labored

then he
asks me
to give it
a try

email
internet
all working
again

I ask him
if there was anything
that I could
have done
to remedy
the situation

he shakes
his head

"nope
somebody
screwed up
on our end"

an admission?

that was new
if not
refreshing

he confirms
that everything
is working
packs his tools
and leaves

4:45pm

four hours
after it all began
everyone is back
to their usual routines
including watching
the clock
since it's
almost

5pm

some
afternoons
were meant
to be wasted

it would have
better been spent
in a bar

today
I received
a customer satisfaction
survey form
for
yesterday's service

this
was my
response