Dogs 2010

AT&T'S BIG BROWN SMILE
(8/26/10)


6:45
Monday morning
no email
no internet
equipment fine
call the phone company
at 6:58
and
after many
holds
and transfers
I finally get to someone
who can tell me
what's
going
on

an hour
and a half
later


8:18 am - Dawn / Erica / Viola

so
what you're
telling me
is that you disconnected
our internet line
for no reason
at all

"that's right
sir

sorry"

well
just reconnect it
then

"sir
it's not
that simple

we have to wait
for the disconnect
to go through
the system
before we can issue
an order
for reconnection"

how long
will that
take?

"about
a day"

a day?

"yes sir
we should
be able to issue
a new order
on that line
tomorrow
morning"

should?

you
don't know
for sure?

"we won't
know
until tomorrow"
if it's cleared"

so once
the reconnect order
has been placed?
how long
will it be
before the line
is back up?

"about
a day
sir"

so Wednesday
at the soonest?

"yes sir"

ma'am
we are a small
family owned business
who relies heavily
upon the internet
for income

"I understand
sir
and am
very sorry
but tomorrow
is the soonest
that we will know
anything"

alright

please
have someone
call me tomorrow
when the reconnect order
has been verified

"yes sir

someone
will call you
first thing"


Monday - 10 am

I walk
down the hall
to another business
in our building
talk to their
office manager
and arrange
to run a connection
from their network
to one of our
computers
so that we can
at least
have some
web access

thankfully
they get their
service
from the local
cable company

our IT guy
reroutes
a few things
to open access
on more
than one
of our computers



Tuesday - 7:40 am - Miranda / Joni

I need to check
on a reconnect
order please

I was told
that there should be
some status
on it today

I was also
told
that someone
would call me
today

"sir
I see no
repair
or provisioning order
on your account"

do you see
the disconnect order
that we did not request
that was completed
yesterday?

"ahhh…
no sir
but that
would've been done
by the orders department
and I have no access
to their system"

can you talk
to orders?

"yes sir
please hold"

~

"sir
this is
the order department
and we do see
your reconnect
order
and it
is on expedite
status"

what
does that mean?

"instead
of your order
being completed
Thursday
it should be
complete tomorrow"

that's expedited?

"yes sir
usually
it would take
two days"

what about
our static IPs?

"sir
your order
says that it for a
dynamic account"

it has been
a static account
for over ten years
and needs
to remain
that way

"yes sir
I'll note that change
for line 918-583-2033"

ma'am?

"yes sir?"

first
it is not a change
it has always been
a static line

second
the DSL line
is
or was
918-747-4904
and needs to remain
on that line

"yes sir

I will make
that note
on the order"

so how about
the IPs?

"I can't answer
that sir"

ma'am
all of our equipment
is set
to those IPs

if they
are going
to change
we'll need
plenty
of warning

"I'll call
the maintenance
department

would you mind
waiting
on hold?"

sure
why not

~

"sir?"

yes?

"maintenance
is not sure
if your IPs
will remain
the same"

when will
they be
sure?

"sir
I see that
an account rep
has been assigned
to your case

they will
call you shortly
with additional
information
and will answer
all of your
questions"

you have
my number?

"yes sir
918-582-2033"

no
please use
our main number
9189-582-2000
and my extension
is 6

"6 sir?"

6
yes

we are
a small
company


Tuesday - 2:17 pm - Judy / Shelly

I'm just calling
to confirm
our order
status

"sir
I show no
trouble ticket
on that line"

you might
want to just
put me in touch
with orders

"hold
one minute
sir"

~

"this
is orders"

I need
to check the status
on our order

"please hold"

~

"sir
your order
errored out
in our system"

what
does that
mean?

"I will
reenter it today
and it should
show up
tomorrow"

you people
use the word
should
quite a bit

so when
will our line
be fixed?

"I don't know
that sir

when it shows
in the system
tomorrow…"

if it shows

"… it should
be performed
on Friday"

Friday?

"yes sir"

so now
it's be expedited
to Friday?

"sorry sir
I do show
an expedite
in the notes
so it should
be Thursday"

should
be
Thursday?

"yes sir"

will someone
call me
when it's
scheduled?

"I can put
that note
on the order
yes sir"

I would
like to be notified
yes

someone
was supposed
to notify me
this morning
but I didn't
get
a call

"well sir
there was nothing
to call about"

ma'am?

"the order
errored
in our system
so there was nothing
to call you
about"

you don't think
that I would've
liked to known
that our business
was going to be on hold
for another day?

"we will let
you know
when your order
has been scheduled"

tomorrow morning
right?

"I can't say
for sure
sir
it's not
tomorrow morning
yet"

thank you
so much


Tuedsay - 4:43 pm - Debra

I'm just calling
to confirm
our order
before I leave
for the day

"it shows
that your order
has been sent
to the back office
to have line
sharing
removed"

what does
that
mean?

"it means
that nothing else
can be done
until the line
sharing
is removed"

will that
still be done
today?

"today
or tomorrow
sir"

fine

is there note
to call me
tomorrow morning
as to the status
of our order?

"yes sir
a note to call you
at 918-582-2000"

extension 6

"sir"

I'm at
extension 6

"I'll make
a note
of that
sir"

in frustration
before I leave
the office
I email
the "Problem Solvers"
at a local
TV station
on the off chance
that they could be
any help



Wednesday - 9:40 am

get a call
from a TV reporter
who takes
my information
and tells me
that he'll be
by

still
no update
from AT&T



Wednesday - 11:07 am - Barbara

I need
to check
the status
of my order

"yes sir
I can see
that there are
some notes
here"

I wouldn't
doubt it

"let me
put you
on hold"

hold
yes

~

TV guy
and cameraman
walk into the office
so I explain
that I'm on hold
with AT&T
then take them
to the conference room
where they can
setup
for an interview

he asks me
some preliminaries
while the cameraman
is futzing
with the equipment


"sir?"

yes?

"I show
that the
disconnect order
on that line
is complete
but we still
cannot access
the number
to place
any new
orders"

so
what does that
mean?

"we'll
have to wait
until that line
clears"

and how long
will that be?

"we don't
know"

what
can we do?

"would you like
to move your
DSL service
to another line?"

sure
why not
what's that
going to
take?

"give me
a moment
and I'll see
if I can enter
an order
to do that"

~

meanwhile
the reporter
is on the phone
with his AT&T contact
in Oklahoma City
who I gather
is more
of a PR
guy

the cameraman
looks bored


"sir?"

yes?

"the system shows
that it would be
Tuesday
before we could
moved service
to the other
line"

on Monday
they told me
Wednesday

"but Wednesday
is today
sir"

my point
exactly

"I can check
with my manager
to see if this
can be expedited"

please
do that
and have someone
call me back
before 3pm

I hang up
the camera rolls
and I lay it out
for the TV
people

the reporter
calls back
the AT&T dude
in OKC
to let him now
that nothing's
been resolved

they film
some of the
office staff
at work
then leave
asking me to call them
if there are
any changes

I get
back inside
and the staff
is asking me
when the piece
will air

I really
don't give
a shit

I just
want
the problem
fixed



Wednesday - 3pm - Viola

I need
to check
the status
of my order

someone
was supposed
to call
but so far
nothing

"I do
see that your number
has been released
for changes
and that
a reconnect order
has been issued"

well
that's good news
for a change

what does that mean
as far as a time
frame is concerned?

"that means Friday
at the soonest"

how about
the expedite?

"oh
I do see that
so you should
hear something
by tomorrow"

while
she is telling
me this
an employee
comes in to whisper
that she has
access
to email
and internet

I tell her
to check
to make
sure


"you should
be receiving
a call
as soon
as it is
scheduled"

thank you

you have my
contact information?

"yes sir
918-582-2000"

extension 6

"let me
note that
sir"

while
we are checking
that everything
is back up
and working
my phone
rings

it's
the first call
from
AT&T
all week


Midwest Publishing

"Mr. Boll?"

yes

"this
is Mrs. Scott
a supervisor
at AT&T"

somebody there
has a last name?


hi there

"first
I want to apologize
for not calling you
promptly
at 3pm"

oh
that's OK

"next
I want to tell you
that since
I was assigned
to work on your problem
at 11am
that I've been forcing
your order
through our
system"

11am
was about the time
of TV guy's
first call
to his
AT&T
contact

our IT guy
sticks his head
around the corner
and gives me
the thumbs up

everything
is magically
working
again


Mrs. Scott?

"yes?"

our internet
seems to be up
and running
now

"yes?"

it will take
an hour or so
for us to reroute
our network
back to the original
configuration
to check
for sure

"should
I check back
to confirm?"

yes please
gives us an hour
and we'll know
one way
or the other

"I'll
call back
at 4:30
then"

thank you

I am already
confident
that everything
is OK
but want
to gather
some past paperwork
before talking
to her
again

I call
TV guy
and let him know
that his efforts
were fruitful
and much
appreciated

he says
that he'll call
if the segment
is ever
aired

the staff
may be
disappointed

I sit
with two
and a half years' worth
of phone bills
all unresolved
billing discrepancies
highlighted

now
that I have
someone's attention
I want to take
full advantage

I would like
to think
that persistence
and perseverance
paid off
but
in the end
I know
that it was pressure
from the local
TV people
that really
made things
happen

waiting
for my callback
I log onto
the internet
to check
the latest
news