Dogs 2007

TECH SUPPORT
(4/30/07)


yes sir
how may I
help you
today?

(God
I hate
this shit)

how far
did you get
with the installation
procedure?

(fucking moron
didn't read
a damn thing)

were you able
to complete
step 12?

(too smart
for our software
no doubt)

yes sir
right after
step 11

(bordering
on the sarcastic
better pull it
back a bit)

you're SO
right sir
the instructions
aren't very clear
I'll bring that up
at the next staff
meeting

(admin assistants
and college interns
from Cape Town
to Helsinki
Paris
to Hong Kong
have been installing
our product
without a hitch
for years
and many
do not even
speak English...)

yes sir
that would be
YOUR name
and email
address

(my lazy
damn lifestyle
so far
has led me
to this lowly
position)

yes sir
click OK
then OK again
then Yes
just as it says
in steps 12c
through e

(please
someone
put an axe
in my head)

no sir
you would need
to click the
Directory Selection
button
in order
to select
the desired
directory

(really
kill me)

yes sir
just use any
of the search criteria
to limit the displayed
listings
or simply
click Search
with no criteria
entered
to see
an A to Z
laundry list
of all available
companies

(are my ears
bleeding yet?)

well
no sir
it will not display
EVERY employee
for a particular
company
but we do have
most of the major
executives
and decision
makers included

(YOU
are probably
on that list
and I
am
not...

and I
am
not
feeling
so well
either)

yes sir
and may I ask
what we should list
as your title?

I see
from our records
that none
has been
entered

(I know
my title...

Ball-less
Ass Kisser)

CEO?
yes sir
I'll make sure
to get that
on your listing

(I should
have known)

please
give us a call
if you have any
additional
questions

(this
is my
Hell)

no sir
thank YOU
and have
a great
day!