Dogs 2007

SPRING FEVER
(3/18/07)


the first
leaves messages
on my machine
we need
to get together
and talk
she says

apparently
things were left
unsaid
but once
she gave
that ring back
four years ago
words seemed
so superfluous

I pass

the second
I meet
by chance
she's with
her granddaughters
and once
that they remember
who I am
I become
a carnival ride
one on my shoulders
one on my back
as I walk them
back
to her place

I'm invited in
for the first time
in over two years
not much as changed
and we talk some
as the children
are entertained

when I leave
she says
that we should
get together
and do this
again
but after
being dumped
twice in the past
I have no desire
to make it
a trilogy

I pass

the third
sends me
an email
she's horny
and although it's been
almost 5 years
and an intervening
marriage and divorce
in between
she suggests
some sort of
sexual arrangement
remembering
that the physical
was always good
for us
even when the rest
was coming
so completely
apart

she once
accused me
of treating her
only as a "fuck buddy"
and not working actively
on a growing
relationship

the tables
they might say
have definitely
turned

I accept

after all
I'm nearing 50
and the opportunities
are fleeting

we're
not even
at the equinox
and the madness
of the season
has already
arrived

apparently
it was a long
cold
winter
for us all

I crave
the hot summer
of certain
solitude