Dogs 2007

PHOTOGENETIC
(2/11/07)


my dad
absolutely hated
having his
picture taken

when
he did
have to suffer
the embarrassment
he seldom smiled
a lockjaw grimace
greeted the viewer
causing them to wonder
at the source
of his
discomfort

when asked
why he couldn't
put on a happier face
he would reply

"because
I look like
a god-damned
grinning idiot

that's why

I look
like a
monkey"

I am
my father's son
and if a camera
is pointed
in my direction
a hand reflexively blocks
the line of sight
and I will turn
to walk away
from my
assailant

friends
and relatives
however
habitually ask
for pictures of me
genuinely concerned
that I look as well
as my emails
and phone calls
seem to
portray

they worry
about me
remembering
my appearance
from more desperate
times

a scarecrow

knowing this
I try to comply
but living alone
as I do
the procedure
calls for automatic
implementation
and I become
a suicide shot
making me feel
quite
the dumb ass

it always takes
three tries

the first
is such a shock
to my system
that I think
there must be
another fool
somewhere
in the house

nope
only me

the second
I flinch
afraid
of a duplicate
result

too late

the third
I just don't care
and want
to get it
over with

bad
but done

I'll save
the sucker
to the hard drive
attach it to an email
then delete
the file
safe
for another
six months
to a year
until another
of the curious
appears

next time
perhaps
I'll select
a photo
of the celebrity
du jour
on the Yahoo
home page
and see
who bites

I can see
an intervention
in my
future