Dogs 2007

LIGHTWEIGHT
(7/4/07)


6pm
I leave work
after 11 hours
of sitting
on my ass
staring
at a monitor
answering calls
and emails
fielding questions
from customers
and employees
hardly moving
more
than a few feet
all damn day
but seemingly
exhausted

6:15pm
arrive home
after a quick
mid-town commute
sticking to the
surface streets
avoiding the clusterfucks
of "express" ways
and interstates
I check the mail
dispose my clothes
and turn up
the music

6:30pm
pick up
the 20 pound
dumbbells
and begin
the day
for real
set of 100
set of 50
stretch
set of 100
set of 50
stretch
set of 100
set of 50
stretch
I'm a sweaty
fucking mess
but at last
it seems
as if I've finally
done something
I feel young again
I feel powerful
but know
that girl scouts
would laugh
at my workout
and old women
could probably
kick my ass

6:50pm
sit down
on the rowing machine
set for as heavy
resistance
as my matchstick legs
can stand
do a slow
and steady
80 reps
completely depleting
my oxygen supply
to the point
of being sick
then get up
and walk it off
sure
that this time
a heart attack
is coming on
and being almost 50
knowing that
in my shape
that it's a possibility
with which
I play

7pm
stand
and stretch
with straight legs
palms on floor
feeling my back
about to
pop loose
my tense thighs
relaxing
my respiration
finally slowed
the sweat dripping
from my forehead
and nose

7:05pm
down
on the floor
reverse leg lifts
more stretching
for legs
back
and neck

7:10pm
walking
the floors
compressing
other upper
body portions
not yet stressed
feeling a bit
embarrassed
at the thought
of it all
and glad
that I live
alone

7:15pm
in the shower
out of the shower
towel off
a minor amount
of grooming
back into clothes
out the door
into the truck
and down
the road

7:30pm
sitting again
this time
at an AA meeting
I feel awake
alert
alive
and grateful
for the first time
that day
despite
the implied
sickness

later
this sober
scarecrow
lies in bed
and contemplates
doing it all again
the next day
hoping to startle
at least
one
bird of time
but they seem
less afraid
with each
passing
day