Dogs 2007

IN GOD'S HANDS
(9/25/07)


I open
my eyes
wondering where
I might be

for a start
I am on my back
as I can see
the cloudy sky
above me

but I have
no recollection
of how
I got here

I also
have no feeling
whatsoever
in any part
of my body

except
my eyes
I can blink
and feel
the lids
close over
them

other than that
not
a damn
thing

I feel
as if
I am lying
at the bottom
of a large pool
of some heavy liquid
neither allowing movement
nor any hope
of moving again

hey!
I can hear too
there must be
a gentle breeze
blowing in the trees
and sure enough
in the periphery
I can just make out
the green leaves
on the swaying
branches

that's it
however

my eyeballs move
but I can't pull
anything else
into my field
of view

I remember
leaving for work
in the usual rush
this morning
and I remember
driving
the city streets
but then
the blackout
until the lights
came back up
here

wherever
here
might be

thank God
for the clouds
otherwise
on this summer day
I'd be a boiling bag
of human organs
overdone
and out

"whatcha doin'?"

a voice!
thank you!
thank you!
thank you!

a child's voice
but no child
is in sight

"are ya sleepin'?"

he leans
in from above
an upside-down head
framed in medium length
sandy hair
centered around
two pale
blue
eyes

"I'm goin' to the store!"

the store?
there are two
along my usual
route to work
but without
the power lines
somewhere
up above
and the sound
of traffic
I don't think
that I'm in
the city
any longer

maybe
some country road?
pasture?
outskirt path?

well
I can blink
and move my eyes
if nothing else

he only appears
to be 4 or 5
would he know
Morse code
an SOS?

I begin slowly
blinking my eyes
in the repetitious
rhythms

he shifts
his position
and furrows
his brow
in study
but at least
he was at
a more upright
angle

the little forehead
now de-creases
and his cheeks
began to stretch
a glorious smile

the laughter
begins

"Mister Blinky!

Mister Blinky!

you're Mister Blinky!"

he begins skipping
and dancing
around me
laughing
and yelling
my new
name

great

the
Mister Blinky dance
I presume

I've been found
by an idiot child

where
are his parents?

how could
he be left
on his own
to frolic about
a potential
corpse?

finally
he slows
quiets
then stops
altogether
leaning over again
to study
instead of ridicule

"are you OK
Mister Blinky?"

I close my eyes
to hopefully
convey
my distress

when I look
again
he is gone
but I can hear
his tiny feet
crunching
gravel

"goodbye
Mister Blinky!

I'll see you
when I come back
from the store"

the footfalls
diminish
into the distance

I reflect

apparently
I'm not
a bloody mess
or the boy
wouldn't had treated me
as a newfound
toy

and I'm sure
if I had pissed
or shit myself
he would've pointed out
that fact
to me

and I am breathing
even if I can't
feel it
or how else
would I still
know
these things?

I have
no choice
but to lie here
for one ending
or another

although
I hope
to see the child
again

I like him