Dogs 2007

CAPTIVE 9TH STEP
(9/8/07)


I see
you talking
but I stopped listening
before
you even
began

I saw
that smile
and it told me
all
that I needed
to know

you
were gone

you used
to speak so well
with your fists
feet
elbows
and knees

every
once in a while
with your lips
and ass
which is what
kept me
coming back

so much said
without
a word

violence
and lust
but it was real
not this bullshit
that you bring me
today

we'd probably
still be together
if I hadn't finally
snapped
in public
one slap
over the line
bitch
then
it was
my turn

they put me
in jail
and you
in a treatment
center

clean
and sober
you testified
putting me away
for five years

still
I can't
blame you

they tranked
you up
dried you out
chemically lobotomized
your wild side
until
a willing citizen
was all
that was left

2 years later
here you are
making your
amends

showing me
pictures
of family
home
and husband

you
are a stranger
to me now
so easy
to forgive

as you walk
away
I can see
that you didn't
lose it all
but what
I wouldn't give
to see you spin
on those
expensive heels
call me
a piece of shit
and throw
an ashtray
at my head

you once
started fires
with those
eyes

earthquakes
with that body

slow
miserable deaths
with that tongue

you once
were mine
and I'll never
find you
again

I welcome
my cell

freedom
could never
be the same
without you