Dogs 2006

NO IDEA
(1/14/06)


I get
so close
at times
through meditation
sensory deprivation
and a downright
nihilistic attitude
clearing my mind
of worldly thoughts
and desires
even managing
to lose my flawed
concocted concept
of God

my head
will be empty
and I will wait
for that sudden flash
or even
a gradual illumination
to fill my heart
and my soul
making me
one
with all
throughout
the cosmos
and eternity

but eventually
the world
creeps back in
and I am again
alone
in my disillusionment

even though
I am sometimes able
to clear those thoughts
and images
from my
embittered brain
I am still filled
with the
nothingness
of my
own
understanding