Dogs 2006

LESS THAN HOLY
(11/17/06)


I opened up
the building this morning
walked down the hall
and noticed something crawling
across my path

a cricket
a bit mangled
but still upright
and moving

possibly
it was run over
by the janitor
the night before
with the vacuum

who knows

normally
I would set
any found insects
free
out in the fresh air
but it was still dark
and near freezing outdoors
seemingly not a perfect environment
in which to recuperate
so I left it there
to naturally find
a place to rest
in this most unnatural
of settings

no one else
was due for a while
so I commenced
my morning routine
computers
reports
emails and such
but still thought
of the cricket
on a continual
basis

an hour or so
later
just before
the rest of the herd
was due to arrive
I went back out
into the hall
to check on
the insect's progress

there it was
up against wall
moving even slower
and a bit aslant

the prognosis
looked dim

however
the day was then bright
so I carefully
picked it up
walked outside
and found a sunny spot
in a flower bed
in which
to return it
to wild

back at my desk
the others now in place
the phones ringing
another workday
began in earnest
the cricket
momentarily
forgotten

but at lunch
I wandered outside
and found a little corpse
exactly where I had put
the previously
living insect

I felt
guilty
culpable
shitty

people dying
babies suffering
worlds colliding
and I'm melancholy
over a
fucking insect

there's
something wrong
with me

I went back inside
and resumed my place
amongst those
not
of my kind